Observe

 You see the same children every day on the bus, in the playground, in Walmart, riding their bikes. Are we really like each other or does our family heritage dictate how we act and who we are?  So many of my classmates spoke Italian in the home, their parents only spoke Italian. They had their own shops, grocery stores or worked for a relative or neighbor who only spoke Italian. Their family hierarchy demanded they all have dinner on Sunday together. Great idea unless you are not Italian. My second sister married an italian man who was the coolest guy in high school. She made it big when she married him. She was so lucky.

Her mother in law was wonderful unless it came to food. She was a marvelous cook and demanded my sister be one two. In sixteen months after they were married she had two children. He husband was a salesman, had a large route, with long hours. Every Sunday after church she would prepare part of the meal, pack it in the car with the children and meet her husband at his mother's house. He spent every Sunday with his father so she was alone to get her act together. Between feeding and caring for her children she had a mandate to get the meal on the table. After dinner the dishes, pots pans and putting dessert on the table within the hour. It looked like fun to me but I am sure there were 10 Sundays' a years she would rather be in her own home with no family telling her what to do.

After 20 years of this she divorced with a smile on her face. There was one bright side. She had all of the family recipes from lasagna, stuffed shells, gnocchi, Italian wedding soup, stuffed meat, tomato Caprese salad with home made oil and vinegar. Baking is her forte'. People call her for wedding cakes, birthday surprises, graduations, birth, funerals and just plain dinner. She is the best. One year she had my husband for our pollyanna Christmas exchange and she sent him a chocolate, whipped cream cake. It had to be assembled by me but everything was sent fedex. One month later she sent him another cake the same way. He wanted to marry my sister.

Her fondant is remarkable and she makes it from scratch. I did not know what fondant was? I do now because I saw it at Whole foods. I have not cooked a meal for anyone in 22 years. When the grand children come we put chicken nuggets in the oven. How does my husband eat?

This is my philosophy about cooking for adults.

You have money!

You have keys!

You have a car!

Go get your own food!

AMEN!

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