Nan's Alphabet

 A few weeks toward the middle of November I received a call from Nan. She told me to stop whatever I was doing and get down to Louisiana. If Nan asked me to jump off a bridge I would have said "How High". It was 2009, I was working for an airline so I was fortunate enough to have free flights anywhere in the United States. After a few minutes on the phone Nan said, 'Your sister is sick, you need to get down there and help her daughter she is about to deliver her 4th child. No big deal, you might say. She was nine months pregnant, her husband serving in Afghanistan on his tour of duty. The children were 6 a boy, 4 a girl and 2 a girl.  My job was to get the house ready for the new baby due within days, get the family to the airport, so she could be with her mother before the baby was born. There were 40 close relatives who were standing by to give assistance once she landed in the Eastern state. That sounds simple. When I arrived on base my niece was happy to see me. The ...

 There was a dilemma in Nan's house. Her third son had just graduated from high school but did not fit in to the profile of boys his age. It was 1971, he was openly gay, we will call him Mr. B.. He did not have a job, with the public scenario not accepting the gay lifestyle in our small town. Nan was single and could not afford to keep an 18 year old boy in clothes, food and other expenses. So Nan decided to send him far away to his oldest sister. She welcomed him with open arms to Hawaii, where she and her husband were deployed in the military. She assisted in him getting a job in a mail room with a large insurance company. Mr. B was outgoing, handsome, funny, flamboyant and eager to meet other men and women he could relate to with his new freedom. There was a large segment of the island society that exploited their gender preferences. It did not take long for him to move out of his sister's place finding roommates in the center of the city. Mr. B and his sister would meet up ...

 In 1969 we were living in Washington D.C. on the Maryland side. If you don't know what I mean there are two states balancing on Washington D.C. Maryland and across the river Virginia. Some people say that the Virginia side is the best side and where the wealthy live I disagree. Nan decided to come down for a visit to see the museums, throwing in a few historic sites. We did the White House because our cousin was stationed there as a marine guard. We did a few of the Smithsonian Institution museums because you can not see them all in two days. We were going to visit Mt. Vernon on her last day and there was the announcement that was the day they were going to have the funeral of President Dwight D. Eisenhower. We were already on Pennsylvania Avenue and I heard it on the radio. They probably had been announcing it for day but I never watched television. I went to work, I worked overtime, I came home and went to bed 6 days a week. My husbands job was across from American University an...

 Nan was always watching out for her grandson when he was a little kid.Here is the funny party. Nan didn't actually meet this particular grandson until he was 16 years old. We will call him Mr. P. So how did she watch out for him if they hadn't met? Well, he only lived a few blocks away from her, right near the doctor's office. They went to the same church. He played in the neighborhood with the kids in the streets. even though he didn't know they were his actual cousins. You see, her grandson was adopted by some friends of his mother's and Nan respected that arrangement, even if it meant keeping unbearable quiet when all she wanted to do was hug and kiss her grandson. Nan respected the fact that some other family was caring for her grandchild and didn't dare to get in the way of that situation. So thee was that one day that her grandson was playing on the front steps on their Main Street home with one of his Dachshund dogs, Hansel. Nan pulled up in her blue Bui...

 At a young age we did not know that we lived in the county seat of our large municipality. People came from small surrounding towns to do legal business. Our uncle was a judge, there were legal offices in the three blocks close to the court house. Many lawyers lived in our community. When I was 14 Nan told me I was invited to the yearly cotillion. It is a social dance popular in the 18th century a version of an English Country Dance. It was an elaborate concert dance for young ladies to come out and be introduced to the public upper class. I never said No to Nan but I had no idea what it was all about or what I was supposed to do. The only dance I knew was the TWIST. There was no slow dancing in the parties I was allowed to attend. Since I have no couture concept of what is prim and proper Nan bought my dress and shoes. I wore white gloves, my hair was put on the top of my head like a bun. Lucky for me one of my friends was invited too. She had far more etiquette and knowledge of ...

 When was polyester invented? Actually it was invented in the United Kingdom in 1941 for the military uniforms. It was not used by the United States until 1971. Everything everyone wore was made out of cotton, wool, linen, silk or other natural products. Spray starch was just as important as water. I started school in 1951 with a white shirt made of cotton and a wool uniform with a badge and a belt. My white blouse was ironed by me from the time I started school. The shirt was washed, hung on the line outside, brought inside, immediately put in the "to be ironed basket". You dampened the shirt and pull out the spray starch. Nan was the expert at no wrinkles, crisp shirts, when you left for school she made sure you had the best creases in your shirt and they were perfect. My brother, two sister and myself walked to school 1 1/2 miles and the same distance home. One day on the way to school I started to itch around my neck and back. I was 8 and in 3rd grade. Since I had a coat ...

 When you enter a competition, run a race, first to finish a test, bake a cake that turns out perfect. You are so proud of yourself. People look at you with amazement, maybe the did not believe you could accomplish it. You were great and you know it.  One thing Nan wanted more than anything was grandchildren. The first was a beautiful baby girl with chestnut hair, sparkling blue eyes and never cried. She was held from morning to night byre mother, her cousins, neighbors, Nan, her dad and his parents. No one ever put her down except to change her diaper. We will call her Miss K. Her favorite day of the week was Sunday as she grew older. That was the day she would go to Nan's house and play with her cousins. She was the Leader of the Pack.  By the time she was 8 she had 12 cousins that she could tell what to do. She organized plays and shows for the adults. Variety shows with singing, dancing and clowning around. She was the emcee but would jump in to perform because she ha...

 Almost all mothers will not admit it, they have a favorite child. It was not me. You will figure it out as the blog goes along. If you are an only child it is easy. If you are a part of twins, triplets or more it is the one that sleeps the most. Yes, Nan had a favorite, out of 11 nieces and nephews she also had a favorite. She was a major player in the childhood memories of "E". The more dominant memories of the two together is in 1980 when they were room mates in New York City. "E" needed help with rent, with Nan happily obliging when she was in town 6 months a year. They shared a one bedroom apartment, Nan was the nurse and work graveyard shift, everyone hated that shift except Nan. The sheets would barely cool from "E"'s exit and Nan taking her place under the blankets after her long shift.  Nan knew "E' with all of her dates, her friends, her high and low moments for a  single lady barely making ends meet. The difference in age was 30. Ho...

 When you think of a woman who projects your thoughts to awesome you might think of Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis. I have only read stories of her kindness, benignant, considerate. good-natured, charitable, benevolent. She would talk to strangers, even when she was with her Secret Service agents. Her popularity as First Lady was due to her devotion to historical preservation of the White House for generations. Her devotion to her children which endeared her to the American public. Our Nan was not a national icon but she was our hero. She used every breath of every day to focus on the health and well being of her children. Like the first lady Nan dressed impeccable with the few clothes that she could afford. She made every step look elegant. We walked together as a family two blocks to our church on Sunday holding hands and laughing. She was like the mayor of our neighborhood baking cookies for a family, taking dinner to someone sick, having children over when there was illness in anot...

 Do you borrow money from your parents or do they lend you money? They always seem to have what you need when you need it. In February of 1973, we were living in Ohio. Phil Donahue was leaving Ohio to start a television talk show in Chicago. Our town had 25,000 people with Phil Donahue being our hero. Some of you reading this do not know who he is - look him up. I was 6 months pregnant, looking like a whale out of water. I had a job as a bartender but they made me quit right after Christmas because they thought I might slip and her myself and the baby. For the first time in my life I had nothing to do. I started bridge lessons at the YMCA. I met wonderful ladies and men who were eager to learn like me. We started talking one day and decided to go to Chicago on the train to see the Phil Donahue Show. We ordered tickets - they were free. The round trip train ticket was $60. I did not have it and my husband, at the time, would not give it to me. He controlled all of the finances, ther...

 What goes with everything? Bacon, Butter, Bread not necessarily in that order. When you are done with the bacon you get a glass jar and save the bacon grease for another meal, another snack or heat it to make the house smell great. Nan's job was to travel with her employer since the wife was on kidney dialysis. She was under a doctor care every day so she needed a nurse on staff too. Nan was 6 months in New York City and 6 months in Palm Beach. It was a job that gave her security, interesting sights, 8 hours a day 5 days a week. When another staff member called out sick Nan was there in a jiffy. One year her children and grand children decided to travel to Florida for Christmas to surprise Nan. She had a two bedroom apartment because her brother lived with her, working as an accountant in a famous hotel on the graveyard shift. They rarely saw each other but would share Sunday church and coffee every week. One of her grandsons "S" was an early riser. He loved to read vers...

 Generations of military service goes back hundreds of years in our ancestry. Civil War, World War I, World War II, Korean War, Kuwait Invasion, Iraq War and current military service. It is in our genes and family heritage is important to everyone. My niece "A" found out she was pregnant the Friday before Memorial Day 2001. She was at Fort Bragg with her husband, she was in COSCOM as a safety officer. She was about to be deployed to Iraq within 60 days. Then 9/11 happened. Her commitment to the Army was til 2003. Her baby boy was born March 2,2002. Her husband went to Okinawa, she stayed back at Fort Bragg to serve out the rest of her time. She asked Nan to come down to help her for six months. Nan quit her job and moved to Fayetteville and stay in the two bedroom apartment with "A". Have you ever had the luxury of a clean house, all of your meals cooked with love, grocery store list complete and put away, plus a baby under 6 months, going to work every day? NO!NO!N...

 Grandparents are an anomaly with families. In many cultures the grandparents live in the home of the oldest child, with wisdom and grace they rule the family. More often than not in America grandparents are a fixture in another place, another state, a nursing home sometimes with their siblings. In most recent years the grandparent raise their grandchildren alone, the parent is working maybe just abandons the child and the courts decide who will take the child. Our niece always dreaded as the fall would decend on their northern Pennsylvania home. It meant Nan would be leaving for Florida to reside near her employers. All the children accompanied by their children would congregate together for one last meal to say goodbye. Nan's suitcase would be on the bed holding all of her things begging to be closed. This bright child would sneak up the steps with a prepared note for Nan. It always started out the same way. Dear Nanny, I am going to miss you so so so so so so so much! I love you...

 My sister and her husband moved 50 miles north of the nucleus of our family. It was his job opportunity that drove them north. There is the northeast extension that makes the drive bearable in bad weather and rush hour traffic. On a typical Tuesday afternoon, my sister was driving her typical 75 miles per hour, Nan and her two daughters were in the car reminiscing the previous hours with their cousins. All of a sudden the youngest daughter in the car perked up, screamed, "I'm going to throw up". There is no shoulder on this part of the turnpike. Nan was sitting in the front seat, grabbed her purse, threw the contents onto the floor, handed it to her and she quickly filled it with digested chocolate cake, cookies and ice cream from two hours prior at a birthday party. Nan rolled down the window of the fast moving car, grabbed the purse and threw it out the window. Never to be seen again. They were hoping it did not hit someone's windshield. Nan is the most unselfish p...

 You might think that her children would get the most of Nan's attention. Absolutely NOT! We were not jealous of the other people in Nan's life it came with the territory of having a mother with the heart as big as the continent of Central and South America times 10. Most years the extent of her travels were to the coastline of New Jersey sometimes Maryland. One year Nan and her sister were determined to make it to Ireland, the land of their ancestors. My sister, Nan's sister and her two daughters made a plan to fly to Ireland, then drive far and wide to the cities of their dreams. On March 12, 1990 they hopped on the plane after months of planning. None of the ladies had been there but they knew how to read a map.There were tours planned in larger cities, hotels we part of the tours. Nan's philosophy for everyone was " Your birthday is the day just for you because you are special. Mary, her sister's daughter knew it was her birthday but did not expect anyone t...

 We are responsible for our own actions. There was no sugar coating what we needed to do to fulfill our programs we advocated for in daily activities. I chose to be a girl scout, to be a part of a group, laugh and giggle while making new friends. At home Nan gave us chores every week, she did not nag us to do them we knew that we owned it and it make her life less hectic if just gave a little help from time to time. Our girl scout troop wanted each girl to sell 50 boxes. I could have gone to my aunts, uncles, neighbors and family friends. That was the easy way out. Nan got a card table, one chair, 50 boxes of cookies and a cardboard sign with a green shamrock on it. We drove to a busy corner in the middle of downtown of our small community. She dropped me off with the table, chair, sign, cookies and $5 in quarters. In those days a box of girl scout cookies were $.75. She knew I would need change. I put on a uniform, hat and sash before I entered the car. I shouted,"Cookies, come a...

 As Nan was getting a divorce from a 25 year marriage of physical, mental and verbal abuse she never dreamed things could get worse. She moved into a two bedroom apartment from a 14 room home with the two remaining children under 16. There was a little child support from her ex-husband, a $2 an hour job to meet her new commitments. The youngest child, a girl, would get dressed walk to school, then not go in to her room, she was 12. Every other day the school would call the apartment and quiz Nan on the whereabouts of her child. She was in the grasp of a pimp dealing her out for $2 a trick. Nan discovered this horrendous situation and immediately sent her to live in Seattle with her older brother, his wife and son. By this time she was 13 and pregnant. Nan paid for the abortion, scraping together extra money for medical care, food also a little something to help pay for food and lodging in Seattle. The Pimp found out where she was shipped off to and went to bring her back to his slu...

 Our mother was not a helicopter mom. She cared about each of us separately and lovingly. One thing that was important to her is our appearance, it rubbed off on my sisters and brothers but I never received that gene. From head to toe we could not leave the house unless we were perfect in her eyes. When one of my younger sisters was a sophomore in High School she was asked to prom by the president of the senior class. Who could believe it? He was tall, handsome, charming, charismatic, smart, a son of a prominent doctor, admired by girls and boys alike. Why would he ask her? She was smart, stunning, funny, beautiful, caring, loving, fun, happy, did I say beautiful! He had his eye on her since he was a junior  this was his time to make a move on her. Absolutely everyone was stunned. She was naive, kept with her posse, never turning around to see him following her through the halls. Prom night came they entered the hall with everyone staring at her. The prom attendees had seen hi...

 The most exciting time in any family is the wedding and all of the things leading up to the special day. You plan for a year or more to get it right. The first daughter to marry was so exciting. Nan was overwhelmed with joy. She was marrying an Italian man who had a huge family not to be overdone by Nan's immediate family of 60. It was a chore to narrow it down to the top 100 friends and family. With so many sisters, friends, and grooms family how many brides maids should there be? Was 10 too many? They settled on 7 brides maids and 7 grooms men, 2 flower girls and a ring bearer.  What were the colors and what where the men going to do to match the ladies. It was settled on Gold  with beige undertones, floor length, long sleeves because the wedding was in January. This was the first  great grand child, first grand child and first child. It had to be big, it had to be spectacular and it had to be right. They chose the largest, most expensive venue in town. Her parent...

BINGO! It was every week in our church auditorium. Tuesday night come rain or shine you would walk up to the hall and purchase a BINGO card for 10 cents. This was 1952. How did Nan get away from the house full of babies? She would call her sister and she would come down to the house and watch the babies sleep for 2 hours. It was a GETAWAY. The opposite week Nan would go to her sister's house and watch her babies for 2 hours. They lived a few blocks away from each other. Starting in 1954 Nan would take us to a nursing home associated with the church. We were 4 kids under 10 and we went along. Each of us kids would sit next to a resident of the home and help them with BINGO. Most of the time we would jump around in our seats because we could not sit still. It was fun to be there and hear the stories of the residents. They would talk about being in WWII, Korea War and the women would talk about working in the factories. In those days women could be a teacher, nurse, a factory worker, ...

 I do not mean manager, not menagerie, I mean manger the thing you have on your table or under the tree at Christmas. It has a donkey, sheep, cows, other farm animals breathing over Baby Jesus with Mary and Joseph looking lovingly at the baby. Nan believed that everyone should have a manger in their home at Christmas or around the holidays to bring the spirit of Christmas into the home. It does not have to be big, made of ivory, or painted beautiful colors.  Many years ago I was driving home from work two days before New Years Eve and I get a call from my sister that Nan is in the hospital with two broken arms. I pulled over in the car and shouted. "WHAT"! Yes Nan was reading the morning paper two days after Christmas that year and saw an ad for a manger on sale at a local Christian theme store in the city where she lived. She lived in the northeastern United States so it was a cold day. Coat, hat and out the door. She scraped the windows on her car, turned on the defroster a...

 Nan was born in 1925 in the 3rd floor one bedroom apartment. Her parents were barely making ends meet  when she arrived. Love surrounded her with family, friends, neighbors, of the young couple. The rent was $15 a month, which was almost a hardship. Joe, her father, adored his first daughter. Every moment at home he rocked her, played patty-cake, sang "I am a little teapot", and wrapped her in his arms at bedtime. Nan's first sister was born two years later in a two bedroom third floor apartment. The girls were two years apart, now the rent was $17.25 a month. With four mouths to feed Joe worked two jobs but made it home to put the girls to bed and kiss them good night. The third sister was on the way when Joe made a down payment on a home across the street from St. Francis Assisi Church. He was so proud of his family and his new job at the city bank. The church was raising funds to build a school for the surrounding Catholic families. The money was raised to build a con...

 Nan's love of reading transcended to her children, grand children and now great grand children.The list below signifies the extent she went to for encouragement to reach for the stars. Stretch your imagination as far as it will go and then go further, her words to us. She was May Queen in 8th grade at St. Francis of Assisi grade school. She was president of her senior class in High School. The next day she entered nursing school at Bryn Mawr Hospital. She was at the top of her class when she discovered she was pregnant and not married. She tried to hide her larger breasts and her stomach bump. Two weeks before she was due to graduate with her Registered Nurse degree she was dismissed from the program. They did not tolerate pregnant women in the program. This was 1944 with unwed mothers being bad news to the program. She was heartbroken. Nan - Bryn Mawr Nursing School - Bryn Mawr, PA. Her Children not in any order or date and not by name. Drexel University - Electrical Engineering ...