Justify

 When I lived overseas while my husband was serving in the military, Nan and I talked several times a week. Even with the 8 hour time zone change we found a way to communicate. So far away from family I wanted to catch up with baptisms, first communions, confirmation, happenings at the library and just stuff to keep me up to date on family issues. This continued for the next forty years.

When I filed for divorce Nan called me every day for 3 months and told me to go back to my husband and those children, her grandchildren, needed a father. Every day I had to listen to her reasoning of why divorce is bad for children and harms them for life. I would always answer the phone because we did not have a display on the phones for who was calling. It was 1975. I was taught that your mother was always right no matter what the topic. You listened and did what you were told to do. I did not listen.

When my daughter was in first grade she came home from school and told me that the boy sitting next to her wore a diaper. He smelled bad and sometimes his clothes were wet and smelly. The first time she told me I did not believe her. How could a six year old not be trained to use the toilet? How could he not have a change of clothes and sit in wet clothes all day because he did not know how to use the rest room? I asked Nan and she told me that children bring home stories but I should believe her and check with the teacher why a child smelled bad coming to school sitting next to my daughter.

I happened to be the PTO president of the elementary school. I knew all of the teachers, the administrators and the Principal and Dean of Students. Why had I not heard about this child? Someone was keeping secrets from all of the parents with children in the classroom. It turns out that the little boy was wearing a diaper. He did not know how to change the diaper himself. When he had a bowel movement he would just sit in in all day. To add to the small the urine was intense at the days went by, especially after lunch and playground time. I was furious. I talked to my daughter and asked her what does the teacher say to her or to the other students in the classroom. She said, "No one talks about it". I went to the teacher, the school nurse and the administration, then to the school board. The teacher is not permitted to touch the child, that is what I was told. A few weeks went by as I investigated this situation.

My first question was, " What kind of parents do not teach their child to use the toilet?" I was told, "The Lazy Parents who do little or nothing for the child." Is the home being investigated for child abuse? The parents were not doing anything wrong. They just refuse to teach the child cleanliness. This was an issue of public health. Doesn't his skin get rashes?

I told the school that I would come to the school and change the diaper and give him clean clothes twice a day. They said I could not touch the child. Finally, after jumping up and down, screaming at the top of my lungs to everyone including the mayor, they finally went into the home and gave the family direction on cleanliness and good habits. 

Out of the mouth of Babes!