Nan's Alphabet

 One thing Nan loved more than herself was her sisters and being with them made all of her problems go away. She loved her sisters and their children and sometimes their husbands and not necessarily in that order. Nan's brother has a house built 150 miles outside of their hometown. All three families 3 women 17 children would all merge there on random weekends throughout the year. We play in the woods, came back with poison oak and poison ivy, dripped in sweat with our clothes torn from running into bushes and brambles. Once her fourth grandson and her sisters' youngest boy went for a walk in the woods. It was innocent enough her grandson was 7 and his cousin was 12. Screaming and shouting started to fill the woods and no one could figure it out where it came from. Both boys were screaming and yelling "HELP" at the same time. We all ran to the edge of the woods and could not believe our eyes. Her grandson had stepped into a hive of wasps that had fallen to the ground ...

 This post came from the fourth grandson Thomas. As the only west coast grandson for many decades before the internet age I kept in touch with the east coast family through Nan's letters, packages of random goodies, and of course summer trips to Pennsylvania. Nan made sure I came for the reunion which were crazy, fun and memorable. I'd fly alone and she'd pick me up at the airport with balloons, treats and hugs. One particular reunion sticks out when we all stayed at a camp somewhere outside of our town. It had a big pool, rustic cabins, picnic areas and fields to play. Nan got me settled into my  cabin with some other cool cousins (they were all cool in my eyes) and let me unpack. I asked her if I needed my paper airplane ticket anymore. She said no so a little while later I tore it up and threw it away. I'm not sure why I tore it up but for some reason I was compelled to do so. Soon after, Nan realized I had torn up my return ticket home. Well the sent her into a pani...

 My sisters were given different genes-same parents, maybe because I was the first girl born I did not get Gene - go shopping and  pick out clothes that match Gene - clean your house til it is spotless Gene - always get good grades Gene - be the prettiest girl in the class Gene - have all of the teachers like you because you don't talk back Gene - what ever you wear matches your shoes and bow in your hair Gene - know the answer to every question from the teacher Gene - your hair is always perfect Gene - be a good cook, a good baker of pies, cakes and desserts Gene - to hang up your clothes as soon as you get home Gene - make your bed as soon as you get out of it Gene - want to wear pajamas When my youngest son was in 2nd grade he came home crying. He told me all of the kids at school teased him because he had big ears. An earlier blog mentioned that Nan hated her ears. They were too big. My son at the age of 7 had the same problem. I thought about it and decided what to do. I ...

 When I lived overseas while my husband was serving in the military, Nan and I talked several times a week. Even with the 8 hour time zone change we found a way to communicate. So far away from family I wanted to catch up with baptisms, first communions, confirmation, happenings at the library and just stuff to keep me up to date on family issues. This continued for the next forty years. When I filed for divorce Nan called me every day for 3 months and told me to go back to my husband and those children, her grandchildren, needed a father. Every day I had to listen to her reasoning of why divorce is bad for children and harms them for life. I would always answer the phone because we did not have a display on the phones for who was calling. It was 1975. I was taught that your mother was always right no matter what the topic. You listened and did what you were told to do. I did not listen. When my daughter was in first grade she came home from school and told me that the boy sitting ...

 I have a friend that lives two blocks from her sister, 3 blocks from her mother, 4 blocks from her best friend and 6 blocks from their church. They talk on the phone at least once a day, they know what to pick up at the grocery store without asking each other. They stick a Hershey bar on the drivers side seat of the car because you know their every move. So many families now are disconnected. My mother in law did not speak to her sister for 25 years until 1 year before she died. They lived 5 miles apart, it was over an unkind word spoken in haste and anger. Why do we hold a grudge against the people we love? Do we want to hurt the people we love the most? When Nan was in her 60's she lived 6 months in Florida and 6 months in New York. She worked for a wealthy couple that traveled and she traveled with them as their nurse. One of my sisters wanted Nan to come home for the birthday of her daughter. Nan was committed to filling shifts of alternate nurses for the couple, at the last m...

 Many children are fearful of their parents because they discipline them. Sometimes they deserve it and sometimes the parents are wrong. They choose the wrong child to punish because none of the children will tell tales about the other sibling. I was 8, my sister was 7 and my other sister was 5. The boys slept downstairs, we slept in the third floor attic, all three of us in one double bed. There were 16 steps straight down to the the second floor. There was a door at the bottom of the steps that locked us in the attic from the outside. IT was a hook and eye device, if we slipped a comic book between the door and the frame we could unhook it. There was no bathroom in the attic. Lucky for us none of us wet the bed. We used to carry on constantly when our mother put us to bed at 7pm. We would jump on the bed, hold hands and dance around the room making very loud noises. At least once a night my father would come up the steps and beat us with a belt, a hairbrush or strap. He knew neve...

 Animals were always apart of our family. Starting in 1951 we always had Beagles in our house. Whether the dog was a male or female their name was always LuLu. Front time to time, I mentioned there were other breeds in the home but Beagles were our go to dog. One more thing for Nan to clean up after. One time she was visiting Abigails' home, she decided to take their female dog Stella out for a walk. They lived in a rural part of a southern state surrounded by a heavily wooded area. Stella was 150 pounds of solid Husky. She was calm and playful in the home, shedding hair with every step she took. The leash was on and the storm door was open. As Nan proceeded to push open the screen door Stella saw a squirrel. Nan had the leash in one hand and the door in the other hand. Stella took off running, ignoring the 125 pound lady flying behind her. Nan literally flew out the door with hands and feet in the air like a jet plane. She forgot to let go as Stella took a 25 foot hop toward the s...

 Nan was always quick on her feet when she had to learn new things. The more children she raised the quicker she had to adapt to their quirks and behaviors. Some of the boys would tease the girls to tears but never took accountability for it. If Nan asked,"Did you kick your sister?" There was silence. They would rather take the punishment than give up their secrets or motives. On many occasions serious offenses were committed by family like her favorite daughter was arrested of doing. Once Nan took a carton of Marlboro and a six pack of panties to federal prison. There is not a book published that prepares a mother to see her daughter in prison for attempted murder. She drove as far as the guards would permit her, she waited in the freezing rain for the shuttle bus to the prison gates. The guards took her bags, took off her coat, patted her down and let her go inside. Nan looked around at the gray walls and all of the other guests of the prison that day. She was embarrassed, ...

 In 1956 Nan's husband took a job with a international crane company. They wanted him to begin to computerize the heavy equipment to do more work with less stress on the operator of the equipment. This was the beginning of the computer age and he was the man for the job. Nan packed up her children (at the time 7) and moved 42 miles away from her mother, father, brother, sisters and friends. I probably did not mention she was pregnant again. In those days 42 miles was like a 100 miles today. If you move the children to go to  see Nana and PopPop (her parents) you had to pack playpens, strollers, clothes and diapers. All diapers at this time were cloth. I do not believe we had a diaper service to pick up the dirty ones and drop off the clean ones.  We moved next to a house that had a chicken coop in the back yard. There were about 2 dozen chickens and they sold the eggs and the baby chicks. They were an older couple and there was a fence between our yards. In order for us n...

 In 1920 Nan's father (Joe) started betting on the Kentucky Derby. He made it a family tradition by putting all of the names of his children, his cousins and his wife's cousins. It was a simple bet that you pay the winner 10 cents. It was a fun way to gather everyone around the dining room table and put up 10 cents. The next day the Philadelphia paper would have the winner of the Kentucky Derby. It was exciting to see who would win all of the dimes. Because there were 20 horses the winner would go away with $2.00. That was a lot of money in 1920. It was equivalent of about $100 today. Last year 2020, was the first time in 157 years of the Kentucky Derby race that the horses did not win. They tried to change the date to October 2020 but the COVID pandemic would not have the race run in public. The horses ran but people could not attend the race in person. Every year the morning of the race Nan would start making finger foods for the people coming over to watch the race. A favori...

 I know you have heard this story a hundred times but my brother, sister and myself walked to school 1 1/2 miles each way. Nan had three children under 5 at home and no car. All three of us went to Catholic elementary school. This was in the northeastern United States. It was cold in the winter. How long does it take a 8 year old to walk 1 1/2 miles? We never cared because along the way other kids would join us and we would carry on the entire way. Throwing snowballs, running along train tracks when the bars were coming down with the lights flashing we always had fun. Running is not a problem when you are 9,8,7 years old respectively.  My brother did not want to walk with his sisters so he would always be blocks ahead. If we were catching up he would just pick up the pace. We never carried umbrellas, but Nan would make us wear goulashes so we would not get our only pair of school shoes wet. We had a rain coat, Barbie lunch pail, my brother had Hop-Along-Cassidy lunch pail, and...

 A few weeks toward the middle of November I received a call from Nan. She told me to stop whatever I was doing and get down to Louisiana. If Nan asked me to jump off a bridge I would have said "How High". It was 2009, I was working for an airline so I was fortunate enough to have free flights anywhere in the United States. After a few minutes on the phone Nan said, 'Your sister is sick, you need to get down there and help her daughter she is about to deliver her 4th child. No big deal, you might say. She was nine months pregnant, her husband serving in Afghanistan on his tour of duty. The children were 6 a boy, 4 a girl and 2 a girl.  My job was to get the house ready for the new baby due within days, get the family to the airport, so she could be with her mother before the baby was born. There were 40 close relatives who were standing by to give assistance once she landed in the Eastern state. That sounds simple. When I arrived on base my niece was happy to see me. The ...

 There was a dilemma in Nan's house. Her third son had just graduated from high school but did not fit in to the profile of boys his age. It was 1971, he was openly gay, we will call him Mr. B.. He did not have a job, with the public scenario not accepting the gay lifestyle in our small town. Nan was single and could not afford to keep an 18 year old boy in clothes, food and other expenses. So Nan decided to send him far away to his oldest sister. She welcomed him with open arms to Hawaii, where she and her husband were deployed in the military. She assisted in him getting a job in a mail room with a large insurance company. Mr. B was outgoing, handsome, funny, flamboyant and eager to meet other men and women he could relate to with his new freedom. There was a large segment of the island society that exploited their gender preferences. It did not take long for him to move out of his sister's place finding roommates in the center of the city. Mr. B and his sister would meet up ...

 In 1969 we were living in Washington D.C. on the Maryland side. If you don't know what I mean there are two states balancing on Washington D.C. Maryland and across the river Virginia. Some people say that the Virginia side is the best side and where the wealthy live I disagree. Nan decided to come down for a visit to see the museums, throwing in a few historic sites. We did the White House because our cousin was stationed there as a marine guard. We did a few of the Smithsonian Institution museums because you can not see them all in two days. We were going to visit Mt. Vernon on her last day and there was the announcement that was the day they were going to have the funeral of President Dwight D. Eisenhower. We were already on Pennsylvania Avenue and I heard it on the radio. They probably had been announcing it for day but I never watched television. I went to work, I worked overtime, I came home and went to bed 6 days a week. My husbands job was across from American University an...

 Nan was always watching out for her grandson when he was a little kid.Here is the funny party. Nan didn't actually meet this particular grandson until he was 16 years old. We will call him Mr. P. So how did she watch out for him if they hadn't met? Well, he only lived a few blocks away from her, right near the doctor's office. They went to the same church. He played in the neighborhood with the kids in the streets. even though he didn't know they were his actual cousins. You see, her grandson was adopted by some friends of his mother's and Nan respected that arrangement, even if it meant keeping unbearable quiet when all she wanted to do was hug and kiss her grandson. Nan respected the fact that some other family was caring for her grandchild and didn't dare to get in the way of that situation. So thee was that one day that her grandson was playing on the front steps on their Main Street home with one of his Dachshund dogs, Hansel. Nan pulled up in her blue Bui...

 At a young age we did not know that we lived in the county seat of our large municipality. People came from small surrounding towns to do legal business. Our uncle was a judge, there were legal offices in the three blocks close to the court house. Many lawyers lived in our community. When I was 14 Nan told me I was invited to the yearly cotillion. It is a social dance popular in the 18th century a version of an English Country Dance. It was an elaborate concert dance for young ladies to come out and be introduced to the public upper class. I never said No to Nan but I had no idea what it was all about or what I was supposed to do. The only dance I knew was the TWIST. There was no slow dancing in the parties I was allowed to attend. Since I have no couture concept of what is prim and proper Nan bought my dress and shoes. I wore white gloves, my hair was put on the top of my head like a bun. Lucky for me one of my friends was invited too. She had far more etiquette and knowledge of ...

 When was polyester invented? Actually it was invented in the United Kingdom in 1941 for the military uniforms. It was not used by the United States until 1971. Everything everyone wore was made out of cotton, wool, linen, silk or other natural products. Spray starch was just as important as water. I started school in 1951 with a white shirt made of cotton and a wool uniform with a badge and a belt. My white blouse was ironed by me from the time I started school. The shirt was washed, hung on the line outside, brought inside, immediately put in the "to be ironed basket". You dampened the shirt and pull out the spray starch. Nan was the expert at no wrinkles, crisp shirts, when you left for school she made sure you had the best creases in your shirt and they were perfect. My brother, two sister and myself walked to school 1 1/2 miles and the same distance home. One day on the way to school I started to itch around my neck and back. I was 8 and in 3rd grade. Since I had a coat ...

 When you enter a competition, run a race, first to finish a test, bake a cake that turns out perfect. You are so proud of yourself. People look at you with amazement, maybe the did not believe you could accomplish it. You were great and you know it.  One thing Nan wanted more than anything was grandchildren. The first was a beautiful baby girl with chestnut hair, sparkling blue eyes and never cried. She was held from morning to night byre mother, her cousins, neighbors, Nan, her dad and his parents. No one ever put her down except to change her diaper. We will call her Miss K. Her favorite day of the week was Sunday as she grew older. That was the day she would go to Nan's house and play with her cousins. She was the Leader of the Pack.  By the time she was 8 she had 12 cousins that she could tell what to do. She organized plays and shows for the adults. Variety shows with singing, dancing and clowning around. She was the emcee but would jump in to perform because she ha...

 Almost all mothers will not admit it, they have a favorite child. It was not me. You will figure it out as the blog goes along. If you are an only child it is easy. If you are a part of twins, triplets or more it is the one that sleeps the most. Yes, Nan had a favorite, out of 11 nieces and nephews she also had a favorite. She was a major player in the childhood memories of "E". The more dominant memories of the two together is in 1980 when they were room mates in New York City. "E" needed help with rent, with Nan happily obliging when she was in town 6 months a year. They shared a one bedroom apartment, Nan was the nurse and work graveyard shift, everyone hated that shift except Nan. The sheets would barely cool from "E"'s exit and Nan taking her place under the blankets after her long shift.  Nan knew "E' with all of her dates, her friends, her high and low moments for a  single lady barely making ends meet. The difference in age was 30. Ho...

 When you think of a woman who projects your thoughts to awesome you might think of Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis. I have only read stories of her kindness, benignant, considerate. good-natured, charitable, benevolent. She would talk to strangers, even when she was with her Secret Service agents. Her popularity as First Lady was due to her devotion to historical preservation of the White House for generations. Her devotion to her children which endeared her to the American public. Our Nan was not a national icon but she was our hero. She used every breath of every day to focus on the health and well being of her children. Like the first lady Nan dressed impeccable with the few clothes that she could afford. She made every step look elegant. We walked together as a family two blocks to our church on Sunday holding hands and laughing. She was like the mayor of our neighborhood baking cookies for a family, taking dinner to someone sick, having children over when there was illness in anot...